The Visit

The Visit

One night many years ago

at a very difficult time in my life

I lay down after a hard and exhausting day.

My mind rumbled and tumbled

over the days problems for a long while

but after a time, I feel asleep.

Soon, my troubles washed away

and began to dream.

In my dream, I decided

I wanted to visit God.

In a moment, my body lifted

towards the city night skyline.

Slowly, I began to journey

first out above the city,

then high, high into the sky

out past the moon, out past mars,

then faster and faster, in no time at all

I was beyond Jupiter

then I was past the solar system

traveling faster and faster, out into the galaxy.

I journeyed deep into the night

always faster, past endless stars.

Soon I was going so fast

the stars blurred and disappeared

and I found myself deep, deep into darkness

at ever higher speed.

Then far, far in the distance

I saw a tiny shining star

and I realized the star was to be my destination.

As I traveled farther and farther,

the light began to grow in size, and I realized

the only reason it appeared small was because

it was so far away.

Then I began to hear a soft hum

far in the distance.

Moments later, I realized the sound

was a woman singing

a beautifully lilting Sanskrit song.

As I traveled closer, the light grew and grew

In seconds I could see it was larger than a planet

larger than the sun, larger than a solar system

larger than a galaxy, larger than anything

I could have ever imagined.

Suddenly I was there

and my pace slowed.

I could see others rising

into the gold-white light, just as I was

and I realized I was a soul that was merging

with a thousand-billion other souls.

Now inside the light, just as a infant merging

back into his mothers womb,

I floated in warm and soft

immeasurable compassion and kindness.

Perhaps a moment, maybe an eternity

I don't know how long,

I dwelt there as a single tiny drop

in a vast ocean of love.

After a long, time I heard a voice gentle and kind

speak softly to me.

She said, “You may have whatever you want.”

To this day, I'm not sure what I said to her

or how long I stayed.

I don't know when I left her,

but in the morning

I awoke in my room forever changed.

In the following months

my thoughts kept returning to my dream

and I realized my journey had been

inward as much as it had been outward

and that the great shining star I had visited

was somehow inside me

and outside me at the same time.

I soon realized as well that if such a place

existed in me, it must exist

in everything else that is alive

from the largest whale

down to the smallest microbe,

because, after all, I'm no more special

than billions upon billions

of other people and creatures.

I began to look at everything around me

with the new eyes of someone

who had been shown immense compassion

and could now see it in everything else too.

In the long years since,

I've seen many good times

full of love and laughter

with those I care about deeply

and many hard times too

full of terrible pain and strife

but even in the darkest hours I've been through

there always has been silver cords of hope

for me to hang onto

and a special sort of kindness that

that seems to envelope me like a cocoon

wherever I go.

Every day that I happen to look for it,

I can see a subtle pearlescent air of grace

that permeates all the world around.

The years have taught me to keep an eye out

for the unexpected and unusual

and I've learned that I can find joy

peeking out of all sorts of places

when most need it and when I least expect it.

Time after time, I've had the good fortune to notice

things that you'd have to see for yourself to believe.

To this day, I don't know exactly what or whom

I visited upon all those years ago.

Was it my soul meeting the universal soul?

I don't know.

In the fullness of time,

I don't know why or how I have been

graced by the experiences

I've happened to have had

but I know what it is to feel joy,

and I am forever grateful.

Dewey Dirks